Monday, 7 April 2014
On Saturday, it was so cool because I won the ugliest pumpkin in the Mitre 10 Pumpkin growing competition. In the competition, I won.... a drinking bottle, a hat, a gardening set and a book and they gave me a certificate.
Then we went to the beach where we met mum. I designed a sand castle but the tide swept it away. Then I went for a swim. I bet my mum to the red and yellow flag and back. We picked up some pizza. We got two Meat Lovers ones, a Hawaiian one and we went home. I had the Meat Lovers.
You have written your story in an interesting way. What a great prize! You write as if you are speaking.
You could add more detail about each main part. Why was your pumpkin the ugliest?